Hypnosis & Self-Help
Articles
Stress Management with Self-Hypnosis
by C. Roy Hunter, PhD, FAPHP
REPRINT of Chapter 10 of:
The Art of Hypnosis by C. Roy Hunter
(Kendall/Hunt Publishing, 1995, 2000; 3rd Ed. Crown House Publishing, 2010)
One of the more enjoyable
evenings I experienced at The Charles Tebbetts
Hypnotism Training Institute was the class on self-hypnosis training.
Mr. Tebbetts
spent part of the evening reviewing some of the same material from his first
book, Self-Hypnosis and Other Mind-Expanding Techniques. Originally
self-published, Westwood Publishing took over the first edition and sold
several hundred thousand copies. After disputes over the copyright, it has been
published both in its original form and in a revised version, both by Mr. Tebbetts and by others several times since its original
printing. As of the writing of this book, I believe it is still available
through Westwood Publishing. I highly recommend it to my own students, as well
as to all professional hypnotherapists.
At
Charlie also discussed
fractional relaxation, which I prefer to call progressive relaxation. He took
some time for questions and answers, and then came the fun!
After the evening coffee
break, he told all of us to fold up the chairs and put them against the wall.
Next, he had us lie down on the carpet, and then he proceeded to demonstrate
how to do self-hypnosis by guiding all of us into group self-hypnosis via
progressive relaxation.
The journey began, followed
by pleasant relaxing and deepening suggestions, guided imagery, and
post-hypnotic suggestion to be able to repeat the process. This was the only
time I ever heard Charles Tebbetts use progressive
relaxation as an induction; but he believed that it was the easiest way for a
beginner to learn how to do self-hypnosis. Nonetheless, his self-hypnosis book
contains several self-induction and deepening techniques. It also gives
guidelines for suggestions used in self-hypnosis, and is written in
easy-to-understand language. It contains numerous scripts and techniques, as
well as some theories about hypnosis and meditation.
My own self-hypnosis book
was originally self-published as HypnoCise in
1986. (Westwood Publishing published it a year later under a different title, Success
Through Mind Power.) This book also presented
self-hypnosis in simple language, but was slanted more for sales people. My
newest book, Master the Power of Self-Hypnosis (Sterling Publishing,
1998), is a comprehensive self-hypnosis book. It's twice the size of my first one, and well-suited for anyone who is interested in
self-improvement! This book provides several self-inductions as well as
numerous other techniques for various goals. My emphasis on the value of
learning the art of self-hypnosis is evidenced by the amount I've written on
that important skill.
Where do I start when
teaching self-hypnosis to clients? I also teach progressive relaxation first,
along with the peaceful place meditation. I usually incorporate stress
management as well, either at the same session or at the next session; because
regardless of what one does to minimize stressful situations in life, someone
can always manage to push our buttons in spite of our best efforts to prevent
it. Before discussing stress-coping, however, let's take a look at the peaceful
place meditation and the peaceful place triggers...
The
Peaceful Place Meditation
Until 1996, I taught my
clients self-hyposis and included the stress-coping
techniques without normally providing detailed explanations about establishing
a "safe place" or peaceful place. I gave suggestions during
hypnosis regarding the peaceful place, anchoring it into the mind with a trigger
that the client can use to become more calm...and giving ample post-hypnotic
suggestions to empower the client to use his/her peaceful place trigger as
desired. My experience now indicates that most people appreciate explanations
about any technique that they attempt to learn for themselves. Thus, what I
describe here in this chapter section is what I now do for the client AND what
I tell the client will be done.
First, I remind the client
of how the subconscious responded to the imaginary bucket (or magnets, etc.,
from the suggestibility test), emphasizing that imagination is the language
of the subconscious. Then I explain what will happen after entering
hypnosis. My wording is similar to what follows:
Just as the subconscious
responded to what you fantasized a few minutes ago, the same can happen during
the hypnotic meditation exercise...only more so.
After a few instructions to
allow you to enjoy a deeper or more comfortable state of relaxation, I'll ask
you to simply IMAGINE an ideal, safe or peaceful place. Your imagination is
totally yours. You can do anything you wish in your imagination, and you can
also be anywhere you wish as well!
So when I ask you to
fantasize a peaceful or pleasant place of tranquility, it is up to you to
follow my simple instructions. If you try to analyze instead, or try to think
of the freeway during rush-hour, you won't get your money's worth.
I am only an artist who can
say the right words, but YOU must daydream what I ask in order to maximize your
benefit from this exercise.
It makes no difference
whether you choose the mountains, a favorite beach, a stream, or any other
place you wish. I want you to imagine sights, sounds, and feelings that are
comfortable, safe, peaceful and beautiful. Remember that your subconscious does
not know the difference between rehearsal and performance, as was evidenced by
your response to the demonstration of the power of imagination a few minutes
ago. Also remember that the conscious mind can think MANY times faster than the
spoken voice, so it makes no difference whether your conscious mind listens in
or drifts and wanders, or BOTH... because you can simply DAYDREAM what I ask
you to. That will help you enjoy greater benefits from this exercise.
When you really get into
fantasizing your peaceful place, I'll ask you to imagine you are becoming a
part of the peace that you imagine. Then I will ask you to touch your thumb to
a finger that you choose to become your PEACEFUL PLACE TRIGGER. At the same
time, I'll ask you to take a deep breath and think the
word RELAX while exhaling. This will anchor these actions into the subconscious
so that you may use either or both as peaceful place triggers during times when
your buttons get pushed.
I'll step you through this
entire meditation, and then I'll give you suggestions to empower you to use the
triggers and reinforce your ability by practicing this self-hypnosis exercise
in the privacy of your own home or office.
Some therapists ask the
client to choose and describe a peaceful place before ever starting the
hypnosis, in order to use programmed imagery to describe that safe place in
detail. This is optional. I normally use open-screen imagery to allow the
client to create his/her place during trance, as some clients will change their
minds about the place of choice after entering hypnosis. However, there are
always exceptions. Be ready to be flexible to your client's needs and wishes.
Also be aware that if you choose programmed imagery, you MUST know whether your
client is primarily visual, auditory and/or kinesthetic...so that you give
proper imagery suggestions.
Note that a few therapists unwisely
determine the safe place for the client. A competent hypnotherapist and
psychotherapist whom I know personally used to employ programmed imagery of a
beach with every client...until he had a client scream during the induction
because she had a fear of the ocean! My friend's personal example adequately
demonstrates the risk of trying to project your own ideal safe place into your
client...in other words, fit the technique to the client rather than vice
versa! Allow your client to choose his or her ideal safe place, then you can help anchor the triggers.
There are numerous benefits
to the client for creating the peaceful place triggers...and the peaceful place
can be very helpful during hypnotherapy itself. (This can be especially true
during regression therapy, as is explained in Chapter 7 of The Art of
Hypnotherapy.) For now, I'll limit the discussion to how a peaceful place
trigger can help a client with both self-hypnosis and stress management.
Using
the Peaceful Place Triggers
When should we use one of
the peaceful place triggers?
Most of us live in a sea of
stress in this modern society, and our buttons get pushed often whether we like
it or not. It's normally not a question of if, but when.
When our buttons DO get
pushed, ignoring it can hurt us. The negative emotion gets stuffed into the
subconscious and comes back to haunt us later. This keeps psychotherapists,
family counselors, pastoral counselors, hypnotherapists, and other
professionals, etc., quite busy.
The coping skill I teach my
clients is simply to take one deep breath of air at the times their
buttons are pushed (whether or not the other peaceful place trigger is used),
and then make a choice: respond now, later, or let it go.
One deep breath also
becomes a trigger for staying in control and making a wise choice--and the
client can use self-hypnosis to reinforce the power of that trigger. This will
not solve all of life's problems, but since an ounce of prevention is worth a
pound of cure, a wiser handling of emotion at the time our buttons get pushed
can prevent or lessen the need for post-stress therapy.
Whenever someone does or
says something that results in our having negative emotions, however, we must
first accept ownership in order to deal effectively with the emotions. For
example, if I say to someone, "SHE really made me mad," I just gave
my power away. By changing the perception to the realization that she sold
me the anger, and I bought it, I am now in control of that which I own.
This perception is necessary to help me make one of the three healthy choices.
The next subsection
discusses the three healthy choices as I explain to clients, and have taught
repeatedly since 1984. I'll present them as though you, the reader, are my
client...
Stress
Release Options -- the Healthy Choices
You have three healthy
options for coping with stress:
1. Express yourself
immediately but appropriately.
Some situations, such as your child doing something dangerous, or a sales
objection during a closing interview, will require an immediate response. You
may find emotion reflected in your voice and your breath in the first example.
In the second example, you may wish to take a deep breath first, then simply express yourself calmly and confidently. In some
situations, such as a customer providing a bizarre excuse to avoid paying for
an item--or with your own children-- you may wish to find the humorous side of
the situation. Laughter can be a good release. Sometimes tears release stress;
sometimes, one word spoken firmly; sometimes sarcasm; etc., etc. You decide.
2. Express yourself later
at a more appropriate time and place.
This option might be in your best interest if an associate at work pushes the
wrong button while others are present. Some people will accept your opinion
much more readily in private over coffee or tea rather than in front of peers.
Furthermore, parents frequently find it more enjoyable at mealtime to insist
that their children wait until after dinner to solve their arguments. One value
from my childhood that still remains with me is my father's advice: good
manners begin at home, and the table is a place of peace. We were NOT
permitted to argue at the dinner table! Neither were we punished at mealtime
unless the infraction took place at the table...in which case we were asked to
leave the table. To this day, even at age 56, I am still grateful to my father
for preserving peace at mealtime.
3. Release and let go--or, forgive. If you don't
choose either of the first two options, choose this one. Forgiving does not
mean condoning. If you think someone else owes you an apology, you are the
one in bondage to that belief. By freeing others from their emotional debts,
you actually free yourself. Therefore, the key forgiving is to release the
other person from the apology they used to owe, and also to forgive yourself for buying the stress in the first place. You
can still disapprove of the action, even though emotionally detached. (Remember
this option next time someone engages in road rage and cuts into your lane!
This option might literally save your life.)
Most people use other
options for stress control, such as stuffing it or internalizing. The results
vary from person to person: you might take it out on friends or loved ones,
take it out on strangers, take it out on the same person at a later date
through blowing something up all out of proportion, or take it out on yourself
through sickness, or escapism, or addiction, or by becoming accident-prone.
Another common option is an uncontrolled, immediate emotional expression. These
options are all hazardous to our health and wealth!
In going through the
healthy scenarios during self-hypnosis, remember to rehearse each of the three
healthy choices. Your response to the actual stress situation in real life is
like the performance--which is made much easier by proper rehearsal during
self-hypnosis. You are giving yourself post-hypnotic suggestions to allow your
subconscious to respond to a given signal, and you are the one who decides
when to give the signal.
This simple technique alone
can increase commissions for many salespeople. The reason is that emotion can
be transferred from subconscious to subconscious. If you are in a sales
interview and you fear losing a sale after an unexpected objection, your
prospective customer may subconsciously pick up on that fear even if you use every
physical sales technique in the book to cover it up. Your fear is that you
might lose the sale, but your prospect's fear will be fear of making a
decision--so he/she will want to "think it over" and avoid giving you
the real objection. By maintaining confidence, such confidence also comes
across at a subconscious level. The prospect will be more prone to buy
confidently, or have the confidence to tell you the real objection so you know
where you stand. Remember that a firm "no" is better than indecision,
which can drain your physical, mental, emotional and financial resources if you
let it.
Practice the coping skill
several times in the rehearsal room of your imagination while in a state of
self-hypnosis. This helps your subconscious mind accept the desired technique
at a quiet time when your emotions are not getting in the way. This is like the
rehearsal, which any musician can tell you is
essential before a good performance.
Doing
It
Often I sell a client a
copy of my newest self-hypnosis book, Master the Power of Self-Hypnosis
(Sterling Publishing, 1998). In some instances, I may offer a copy of this
book, referring to this chapter, and instruct my client on how to do
self-hypnosis via progressive relaxation. Clients can find their own
comfortable places, either seated, reclined or lying
down--according to individual preference. (Contact lenses should be removed if
necessary, and chewing gum should be discarded.)
I inform clients that the
first phase of the self-hypnosis for stress management is to fantasize being in
a safe, peaceful place. While imagining sights, sounds, and feelings that are
pleasant and peaceful, each should then take a deep breath and think the word "RELAX"
while exhaling. (You may also touch your thumb to a finger as an additional or
alternate trigger.) The second phase is to rehearse the successful use of each
of the three healthy choices in the rehearsal room of the mind. After the
above, those hypnotized may awaken themselves by counting forward from one to
five.
After giving the instructions,
I then guide my clients into hypnosis via progressive relaxation, and guide
them through the entire rehearsal. I finish with suggestions for the deep
breath being a reminder that they have the power of choice, and like a muscle
used becomes stronger with use, the power of choice becomes stronger with use.
Just as the singer rehearses before a performance, making the performance
easier, my client can rehearse his or her desired behavior in the safety of the
imagination. Then, in real life, when stress buttons are pushed, that's
performance time!
I conclude with a
post-hypnotic suggestion for successful use of self-hypnosis, and then awaken
my clients.
If you wish to make a
self-hypnosis script for your client, take the progressive relaxation script
from Chapter 5 of this book and change the "you" format to the
first-person format; or sell him/her a copy of my self-hypnosis book, Master
the Power of Self-Hypnosis, which has detailed instructions for how to do
it.
It
Only Works When It Is Used
The deep breath becomes a
trigger for choice--now, later, or let it go. I want it to be a reminder to all
of us (myself included) that WE are owners of our own emotions, and we have
the power of choice!
Understand, too, that
anyone's degree of success in coping with a stressful occurance
may vary according to the situation at hand--as well as the frequency of use of
the coping technique. As a muscle is used, it becomes stronger. If it's not
used, it weakens with time.
After you complete this
self-hypnosis on yourself, take note of your opportunities to practice this new
skill. Next time you are driving and someone turns left in front of you, take a
deep breath and think the word RELAX. If you feel like calling him a
"jerk" first, go ahead--as long as you still take the deep breath
before or afterwards. Another great place to practice this skill is on the job.
Suppose you are ready to go home after a hectic day at work, and you suddenly
find out you have to stay late because someone else didn't finish a job. Take one
deep breath, think RELAX, and then say and do what is appropriate.
Many of my clients have
reported to me an improvement in personal self-confidence simply from mastering
the art of this technique.
When I speak in public on this topic, I end my presentation with a group meditation--so that it becomes experiential for my audience. If you wish to sponsor me as a presenter for your business and/or association, contact me via e-mail at Alliance Self-Empowerment, Inc.
If you would like hypnotic
help yourself with this skill, seek a competent hypnotherapist in your area;
or, if you wish, you may order my audiotape on Stress Management by
logging onto my website (shown below). I will give a volume discount in case
you wish to give or sell my tapes to your clients.
I have other tapes and
training programs available, including a home study
hypnosis course.
***
Roy
Hunter practices hypnotherapy near Seattle, in the Pacific Northwest region of
the USA. He also worked part time for the Franciscan Hospice facilitating
hypnotherapy for terminal patients for seven years, and teaches a 9-month
professional hypnotherapy training course based on the teachings of Charles Tebbetts. Roy is the recipient of numerous awards, including
awards from three different organizations for lifetime achievement in the
hypnosis profession. You may see Roy’s numerous awards at: http://www.royhunter.com/hunter.htm
Roy
is available for mentoring and coaching.
For more info, visit: http://www.royhunter.com/consulting.htm
You
may purchase
http://www.royhunter.com/hypnosis_books.htm
Last
updated: February 9, 2011
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Originally
posted: September 21, 2001.